Truly Thankful

*Long post alert!*

I’ve been trying for weeks to figure out a way to write about why I signed up for a marathon.

Here’s how it all started…

Back in late October, my good friend Matt H, chatted me on Facebook telling me how he was going to sign up to run a marathon to raise money for cancer. Knowing that I’m a Hodgkin’s Lymphoma survivor, and that I love athletic endeavors, he asked me if I wanted to sign up too.

During this time I felt like I was craving some kind of challenge, some sort of goal that would push me out of my comfort zone. I knew a marathon would be a great thing to work towards, and achieve… there was only one problem… I “hated running.”

Let me explain…

Pre-cancer, I was a great athlete… I would not say I was “elite,” but I was well above “average”, and “good.” The first time I had cancer my protocol was mild as I was only 12 years old, so my treatment included just chemo and radiation. Remarkably, I was able to bounce back to where I had been athletically. The second time I had cancer was much more intense. Protocol this time around was “let’s get everything and then some.” I was given tons of chemo, radiation, and a stem-cell transplant. By the end of it all, my total tally was: literally countless rounds of chemo, 28 hits of radiation, 12 surgeries, and a stem-cell transplant. My body was changed forever.

My endurance went from being able to keep up with some of the best athletes in the state (my bball teammates) to not being able to walk across a basketball court. Through the unrelenting loyal support of my family, friends, and especially my AAU basketball teammates and coach… I slowly regained strength in my body. But while you can rebuild muscles… you can’t rebuild lost lung capacity (you just learn to maximize what’s left). Running became the most frustrating, and infuriating athletic activity; I got winded faster and more easily than my teammates. It was a reminder that my body was not the same as it was pre-treatment. It was a reminder that I had to reset my goals. And it was a reminder that I had become just another “good” athlete.

After I stopped playing basketball (I played through high school with the school team and AAU), I joined a gym where my disdain for running continued. For years I stayed far away from the treadmill. For years I shook my head at the idea of running outside in less-than-perfect weather, or in perfect weather for that matter.

Now I don’t want you all to think that all I did was dwell on what I could no longer do because of cancer. I gained SO much from having cancer. The people I met, my outlook on people, and on life in general… I know it sounds crazy… but I’m kind of grateful for it. Not to mention, I knew how incredibly lucky I was to beat cancer twice. I still had the capacity to get good grades, and to graduate college. I still even have some athleticism. And I still had my spirit.

One of the things I’ve become passionate about is giving educational/motivational talks to people about cancer. My message is always the same… Never let adversity be the excuse to not do something, instead make it the reason you do it.

Now we can fast forward back to the part where Matt was asking me if I wanted to doing this marathon. Oh I still “hated” running at this point… but I knew I’d be the biggest hypocrite if I backed out. My worlds had finally collided, head on. I had the phrase “practice what you preach,” ingrained in my mind (thanks Dad!). So as I told Matt to sign me up, as I knew I would be putting my money where my mouth is.

I hardly had an idea of what I was getting myself into. My first race… a full marathon. People have asked me “why didn’t you start with a half?!” That’s an easy question for me to answer. I didn’t start with a half marathon because a half was feasible to me. I knew I needed to be outside of my comfort zone, and I knew committing myself to a full marathon would definitely be well beyond it.

I was recommended a training plan that I’ve stuck to religiously. I had to start at zero, truck through injuries, and spend multiple nights being unable to fall asleep just from being so sore. But last Saturday, I ran 20 miles in about 4 hours. I walk at times, but only long enough to catch my breath. My legs are strong. My lungs are as good as they will ever be. And my determination is downright insane. I’m almost there.

Training for this race has reminded me the power of support. Through Team in Training, we have organized long runs on Saturday mornings. I never thought I’d ever see a day where I looked forward to getting up early to run ridiculous distances in the freezing cold with a bunch of other crazies who signed up for the same madness. But I love my Saturday morning runs with my team. The group I run with is fun, enthusiastic, and absolutely HILARIOUS. I think I experienced just as many muscles cramps from running, as I did from laughing.

Then there’s the support of my donators. When you sign up with TNT, you are committed to raising $1500 for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, what you don’t raise comes out of your own pocket. The generousness of the people who have donated has just blown me away. With every donation I received, I became more and more motivated as I knew I was not just running this race for myself.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to my supporters. Whether you came in the form of donators, teammates, family, friends, strangers, etc… I could not have accomplished what I’ve accomplished without you.

In a little over two weeks I’ll be racing my first race. In a little over two weeks I’ll be completing a full marathon. And in a little over two weeks, I’ll be even more grateful.